i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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