it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
