I seem to have left my pride at pride
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
