Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My ass is underappreciated
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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