Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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