I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
