it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
