Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
