Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
