Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
