Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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