Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
