Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
