Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the day after is always just damage control
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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