loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
