I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
