what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
