I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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