She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
