sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
