How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
