Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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