just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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