I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
