I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
