My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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