Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
