I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There are leaves in my underwear?
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