Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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