that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
