Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
