If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
