Do you still have your period?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
