This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
