So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
