i think my tv is drunk
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
