me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
