I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
