He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
