The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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