Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
