I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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