So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
now i know why i became what i already was.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Randomize
