i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
