and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Vodka?
Forever.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
