Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize