if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
