is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
