She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
