After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Semen is not good for contacts.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
