You're so nebulous sometimes
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
