My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
