that's an acceptable place to lick
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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