kristin has been a bad kristin
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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