watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
